Holiday New Parenting: Thanksgiving Edition 2025
BabySpace Coachella Valley Supports You This Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving can be a time for gratitude, warmth, and family gatherings. For new moms and new parents in Palm Desert, Palm Springs, and throughout the Coachella Valley, however, this cherished holiday can also bring about a mix of emotions, ranging from joy and anticipation to anxiety. In this blog post, we'll explore the thoughts and feelings many new moms and new parents experience as they navigate Thanksgiving gatherings with a new baby or young child.
Anticipation and Expectations
Thanksgiving in the Coachella Valley
As Thanksgiving approaches, new parents in La Quinta, Indian Wells, and Rancho Mirage might recognize flutters of excitement, sometimes mixed with a wave of anxiety. Thoughts swirl about how the day will unfold, especially when it comes to their little one. The baby's schedule, preferences, and temperament all meet the expectations of the family gathering, and parents find themselves trying to support baby's needs alongside their own needs and the wider expectations of the event itself.
Whether you're hosting at home in Cathedral City, traveling to family in Indio, or joining relatives in Desert Hot Springs, give yourself permission to adjust plans as needed. Your baby's needs, and your own, deserve to be honored, even if it means arriving late, leaving early, or taking frequent breaks.
Passing the Baby Around
One of the biggest concerns around family events is the well-intentioned relatives' desire to hold and cuddle the adorable baby. While new parents understand the love behind this, there may also exist a worry that their baby might get upset. There could also be an underlying concern that once the baby is in someone else's arms, it might be challenging to get them back. More experienced relatives might want to prove that they can "settle the baby" without realizing the baby's need for the calm embrace, soothing voice, warm touch, and smell of their primary caregiver(s). This is what is truly settling and regulating for the baby once they've reached a level of dysregulation that requires parents to step in.
Talking about this ahead of time with those who ask to hold the baby can be a great way to lay out your expectations. This could look like: "Just so you know, they seem to be getting a little tired, and that can be a challenging time to hold them, so if they start to show signs of needing me, I'm going to take them back from you. If you'd like to hold them later after they've napped/been fed/had some time outside, I'm happy to wait until then." This could also look like: "You know, they're showing signs of needing some time with me right now, so let's plan to have you hold them later after they've napped/eaten, or we can both sit together on the couch with them."
Practice this script with your partner, spouse, or a safe family member before attending the event so you've said it out loud a few times and feel confident in sharing your message with whoever you need to. Our mom support groups in Palm Desert can be a great place to practice these conversations!
You don't have to navigate new parenthood alone.
Join our supportive community of Coachella Valley parents who understand what you're going through.
Feeling Guilty
Sometimes guilt creeps in when new parents reflect on their contribution to the Thanksgiving meal. In the hustle and bustle of caring for a newborn/baby/toddler, they may find themselves spending more time with the baby than in the kitchen. The thought that they "should be doing more" to help can be overwhelming, leaving them torn between their parental duties and the desire to actively participate in the festivities.
The guilt can intensify when seeing social media posts of elaborate dishes others have prepared or the intricate decorations adorning Thanksgiving tables. Comparing yourself to the seemingly effortful contributions of those around you can trigger feelings of inadequacy. The pressure to live up to societal expectations, often amplified by curated online content, adds an extra layer to the already complex emotions experienced during the holiday season.
Attuned caregiving is a huge piece of your child’s development
Here's the truth: Your contribution IS caring for your child. That is meaningful work. You are giving your baby exactly what they need….your presence, your attention, your love. As we move through parenthood, it can be hard to see the contributions you're making to your child when you're comparing those contributions against what you were more freely able to do before baby.
Amidst the challenges of parenthood, it's crucial to recognize that each moment spent nurturing and caring for your child is a valuable contribution in itself. The comparison to a pre-baby era doesn't account for the immeasurable love, patience, and dedication you bring to your role as a parent. Embracing the unique ways you now impact your child's life, even if they differ from past freedoms, fosters a sense of fulfillment and joy in the beautiful journey of parenthood.
Worries about Germs and Illness
In our post-pandemic world, concerns about health and safety remain on many parents' minds throughout the Coachella Valley. New parents often worry about the potential germs that their baby might encounter during Thanksgiving gatherings. The fear of illness looms large, and every cough or sniffle becomes a cause for concern. Balancing the joy of the holiday with the need to protect your little one from seasonal viruses becomes a delicate dance.
Navigating this delicate dance involves tactful communication with family members and setting boundaries that prioritize the well-being of your little one. You might grapple with the internal conflict of wanting your child to experience the warmth of family gatherings while being hyper-aware of potential health risks, especially during RSV, flu, and cold season in the desert.
It's absolutely okay to ask family members to wash their hands before holding the baby, to request that anyone feeling unwell skip the gathering, or to limit close contact with your infant. In this balancing act, you may discover the importance of finding a middle ground that allows for festive enjoyment while ensuring your baby's safety remains the top priority. Local pediatricians in Palm Springs, Palm Desert, and throughout the valley can also offer guidance on what precautions make sense for your baby's age and health.
The 'Shoulds' of Parenthood
Perhaps one of the most challenging aspects for new parents is the internal pressure to live up to a standard they perceive as the "normal" way of doing things. Parents find themselves grappling with the notion that they 'should' be able to manage everything just as effortlessly as before parenthood. The reality is that being a new parent comes with a set of challenges that can't be neatly compared to life before baby.
Recognizing that the 'shoulds' and comparisons are societal constructs rather than realistic expectations, new parents embark on a journey of self-compassion. Each day brings its unique set of triumphs and challenges, and learning to appreciate the beauty in the imperfections of parenthood is essential. As you shed the burden of unrealistic standards, you discover a newfound strength in embracing the messy, unpredictable, and incredibly rewarding nature of raising a child. Through self-acceptance, you begin to rewrite the narrative, acknowledging that there is no universal "normal" in the extraordinary journey of parenthood.
Create a mantra for yourself when you notice the arrival of the 'shoulds':
"I am in a season of life that allows for this day to look just the way it should."
"I trust those around me to support me as this day unfolds."
"I am grateful for the ability to live this day in this way."
"My presence is my greatest gift."
Coping Strategies for Coachella Valley Parents
Despite these anxieties, you are not alone. Many parents throughout Palm Desert, Rancho Mirage, La Quinta, and the entire Coachella Valley have walked this path before, and these are a few strategies to help ease the stress:
Communicate openly with family about preferences for handling the baby
Enlist support for meal preparation…consider ordering dishes from local restaurants in Palm Springs or Palm Desert, simplifying the menu, or asking others to contribute
Take breaks to rest and recharge in a quiet room, or step outside to enjoy the beautiful desert weather
Create a comfortable space for feeding or naps away from the main gathering
Set realistic expectations for yourself and communicate them to others
Build your village…connect with other parents in our BabySpace Coachella Valley mommy and me groups who understand what you're going through
Building a support network is essential, and fellow parents in Indian Wells, Thousand Palms, Bermuda Dunes, and beyond can offer valuable insights and understanding. Engaging in honest conversations with family members about your needs as a new parent helps create a supportive and understanding environment. Other parents in your life can be great collaborators, and you don't have to heed all of their advice, either. Take what resonates and leave the rest.
At BabySpace Coachella Valley, our postpartum support groups and new mom groups provide a safe space to share these experiences and connect with other parents navigating similar challenges.
You've Got This
BabySpace Coachella Valley reminds you that holiday gatherings as a new parent may be a rollercoaster of emotions, but it's essential to remember that it's okay not to have everything figured out. Embracing the support of loved ones, communicating needs, and finding moments of joy amid the chaos can make this holiday season memorable for all the right reasons.
To all the new parents in Palm Springs, Cathedral City, Palm Desert, La Quinta, Indio, Coachella, Thermal, Mecca, Desert Hot Springs, Yucca Valley, and Joshua Tree: take a deep breath, savor the moments, and cherish the gratitude that comes with this unique Thanksgiving journey. You're doing an incredible job, and your baby is lucky to have you.
Ready to Connect with Other Parents?
Don't navigate the holiday season, or new parenthood, alone. Our supportive groups meet regularly in Palm Desert and provide a judgment-free space to share, learn, and grow together.
BabySpace Coachella Valley
The playroom at BabySpace Coachella Valley.
Becoming a parent is a profound and life-altering experience, but it comes with its fair share of unspoken challenges. Meeting with other parents and exploring together what you are envisioning life could look like with your infant and toddler is an invaluable piece of new parenthood. By sharing experiences with others in a place like a BabySpace Coachella Valley Mommy and Me group, parents can find solace in the shared journey of raising the next generation, embracing both the joys and the trials that come with it.
Serving the Coachella Valley and surrounding areas, including: Palm Springs, Cathedral City, Rancho Mirage, Indian Wells, Thousand Palms, Palm Desert, La Quinta, Indio, Bermuda Dunes, Coachella, Thermal, Mecca, Desert Hot Springs, Yucca Valley, and Joshua Tree.
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