Teasing Isn’t Play: Understanding Teasing from an Infant Mental Health Perspective

The Emotional Impact of Teasing on Young Children

What some adults may consider “harmless teasing” can actually be deeply confusing and upsetting to young children. Infants and toddlers are still developing their understanding of the world and rely on consistent, nurturing responses to feel safe. When an adult teases, mocking a child’s behavior, pretending to take away a favorite toy, or laughing at a child’s distress, it sends mixed messages. These experiences can disrupt a child’s emerging sense of trust and safety. Rather than learning that adults are reliable and emotionally safe, the child may feel shame, fear, or anxiety.

Young Brains Are Still Wiring for Trust and Relationship

Babies look to adults for predictable caregiving

From an infant mental health perspective, we know that early experiences shape how the brain wires for relationships. When adults tease, even in jest, they can unintentionally trigger stress responses in a child’s developing brain. This can interfere with the child’s ability to regulate emotions and form secure attachments. A child who is laughed at or confused by teasing may withdraw, become aggressive, or overly seek approval. Consistent, sensitive caregiving, rather than unpredictable or mocking behavior, is what builds the foundation for healthy emotional development.

Teasing Undermines Language and Social Development

Teasing can also get in the way of how young children learn to communicate and engage socially. Children need encouragement, patience, and responsive interaction to develop strong communication skills. If a child feels mocked or tricked during these learning moments, they may hesitate to speak up or interact. They may struggle to distinguish between playful and hurtful interactions, leading to misunderstandings and social challenges as they grow. Safe, respectful communication helps children feel confident in expressing themselves and builds social competence over time.

Looking Back: How We Were Treated Shapes How We Parent

Many of us were raised in families where teasing was common, and sometimes even seen as a sign of love. Maybe adults laughed when we cried or made jokes about our fears or appearance. If that was your experience, you might find yourself repeating those same patterns without meaning to, or feeling uncomfortable with closeness and unsure how to respond to your child’s big emotions. It’s okay to admit that the way we were treated didn’t always feel good, even if our caregivers didn’t mean harm. Recognizing these early experiences can bring up strong feelings and a desire to do things differently. You’re not alone, many parents come to BabySpace ready to learn new, more connected ways to relate to their children and even to start healing their own stories.

Creating a Safe Space for Parents and Children to Grow

Responding with empathy to a child will help them grow to respond to others with empathy

At BabySpace Coachella Valley, we believe that nurturing relationships begin with awareness and support. We provide a non-judgmental space where new parents can reflect on their own experiences, build community, and gain practical tools for emotionally healthy parenting. In our weekly parent-infant groups, we model how to engage in playful, respectful connection that builds trust rather than confusion. Parents learn how to read their baby’s cues, respond with empathy, and create joyful moments that foster security. Avoiding teasing and choosing connection instead helps children feel seen, valued, and emotionally safe. Together, we are building a community that raises emotionally resilient children…starting from the very beginning.

BabySpace Coachella Valley

The playroom at BabySpace Coachella Valley. 

Becoming a parent is a profound and life-altering experience, but it comes with its fair share of unspoken challenges. Meeting with other parents and exploring together what you are envisioning life could look like with your infant and toddler is an invaluable piece of new parenthood. By sharing experiences with others in a place like a BabySpace Coachella Valley Mommy and Me group, parents can find solace in the shared journey of raising the next generation, embracing both the joys and the trials that come with it.

Serving the Coachella Valley and surrounding areas, including: Palm Springs, Cathedral City, Rancho Mirage, Indian Wells, Thousand Palms, Palm Desert, La Quinta, Indio, Bermuda Dunes, Coachella, Thermal, Mecca, Desert Hot Springs, Yucca Valley, and Joshua Tree.

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